WTH?

So......I took my teenage son to the mall for new shoes the other day and realized how very old I'm getting by the minute.  The first young lady who finally lifted her eyes up from the riveting reading material she was attending to instead of the customers offered her assistance reluctantly.  Once she brought out the requested items I noticed she was wearing baggy sweat pants, a t-shirt and flip flops with socks.  Now, I'll tell you right now I'm one of those long standing "you never know who you'll run into if you leave the house looking like a slob" people, so, to say that I was taken aback, is an understatement.  We asked her to hold a pair of shoes and we took off for other options.  At the next store (we'll call it a well-known teen brand store) a tiny waif of a girl wearing booty shorts and an eyelet tube top asked if we needed any help?  I really wanted to reply, "No, but your Mother should sit you down and have a good talk with you," but of course due to the fact that my teenage son barely wanted to be seen with me, kept that comment under wraps.  The only time I'm needed (or wanted for that matter) is when I'm coughing up the dough for clothes, shoes, and other assorted items needed by said teenager.  To say I was shocked by the "work attire" of the day was an understatement.  Yep, it's official, I'm old.

Why bother?

So.....the sinus infection drama continues with another trip to the doctor on Saturday and a completely lost weekend.  I hate lost weekends.  I was actually looking forward to Monday (which never happens) because I was so damn mad that I'd wasted another prefectly good weekend to being sick.  Oh yea, the doctor said "try this," to another medication.  Damn dart throwers, they just keep throwing the darts (medication) until something sticks. 

Holy Hell

Okay, I almost feel good today after an entire week of being sick.  Not just a little under the weather, I 'm talking full on, no holes barred, sick as all Holy Hell!  The doc in the box (whom I had to visit since my physician of 14 years front office told me they couldn't see me for a month and a half encouraged me to either visit the ER or an Urgent Care Clinic, WTH?) told me I had a serious sinus infection which almost knocked me out.  I'm talking, can't hold my head up knocked out.  We take this whole "I feel pretty good today," WAY too lightly.  I'm going to appreciate "pretty good".  At least until I forget about it and take it for granted.......again.

Jealousy, Misery, Envy

Smiling faces sometimes pretend to be your friend
Smiling faces show no traces of the evil that lurks within
Smiling faces, smiling faces sometimes
They don't tell the truth uh
Smiling faces, smiling faces
Tell lies and I got proof
The truth is in the eyes
Cause the eyes don't lie, amen
Remember a smile is just
A frown turned upside down
My friend let me tell you
Smiling faces, smiling faces sometimes
They don't tell the truth, uh
Smiling faces, smiling faces
Tell lies and I got proof
Beware, beware of the handshake
That hides the snake
I'm telling you beware
Beware of the pat on the back
It just might hold you back
Jealousy (jealousy)
Misery (misery)
Envy I tell you, you can't see behind smiling faces
Smiling faces sometimes they don't tell the truth
Smiling faces, smiling faces
Tell lies and I got proof
Smiling faces, smiling faces sometimes
They don't tell the truth
Smiling faces, smiling faces
Tell lies and I got proof
(Smiling faces, smiling faces sometimes)
(Smiling faces, smiling faces sometimes)
I'm telling you beware, beware of the handshake
That hides the snake
Listen to me now, beware
Beware of that pat on the back
It just might hold you back
Smiling faces, smiling faces sometimes
They don't tell the truth
Smiling faces, smiling faces
Tell lies and I got proof
Your enemy won't do you no harm
Cause you'll know where he's coming from
Don't let the handshake and the smile fool ya
Take my advice I'm only try' to school ya

Give me more!

Throughout my adult life I've been known as a magician of sorts.  "She can pull a rabbit outta her hat," has been bandied about on many occasions regarding ideas I've helped magically appear, etc.  The hard thing about being one of those types is that people are amazed at first and then they begin to expect it.  They look to you to get things done at the drop of a hat, to pull off feats that normally would take a year, I get 3 months to get it done.  If it takes a week, hand it over and tell me you need it by the end of the day.  "Give me more!" they chant.  After a while it's not as much fun.  Note to self, "Keep your fabulousness under wraps!"

Why bad things happen to good people

All of us have wondered throughout our lifetime why bad things happen to good people?  I've often been around to see really good things happen to some very bad people and it makes you shake your head in disbelief.  It makes me mad, furious even....How can these things happen?  Why is there no justice in the world?  Why do people blow up innocent people?  Why do people not question more and blindly follow? Why do children get cancer? Are these questions that cloud my brain for days and weeks on end?  No.  If it did, I'd be depressed beyond being able to function. I hope and pray that bad things teach us something and that in the end, we're not supposed to know all of the answers. I have no answers, I have only questions.

Wait, what? Not on a Monday, that's just bad form.

Monday is not my banner day.  There, I've said it.  I'm not a morning person anyway....(you can say that again), but add the word Monday to the word morning and I'm already operating at a disadvantage. You can bet your sweet ass I'm going to hit the snooze button at least 3 times, (possibly 6) but who's really counting?  I'll not be able to pull myself into the strict "get with it and get out" attitude it takes for me to get out the door every other morning of the workweek; no, I'll be plagued with a late start, a late arrival and an imaginary flashing LATE neon sign above my head.  When my boss decides to get to work early and beats me to the door, it's like adding insult to injury.  What?  Why are you here? Anxiety level is now at Def Con 5.  Attach pretend happy face and smile, "traffic was terrible this morning," and walk quickly down the hall. Wake me up when it's Tuesday.

How can your head hurt? It's Friday!

So here's the thing, I get really bad headaches.  Had 'em for years, I've tried every migraine drug known to mankind and I still get really bad headaches.  I don't eat "trigger" foods, I don't drink red wine, and I'm careful not to have too many 5 hours worth of sleep days in a row. I've been on preventative medicine, and I've become a slave to reactive medicine. For years I've operated a 3 step plan (take this one first, if that doesn't help move on to this one, then if it's really bad inject this into your leg), that's how bad the stupid headaches have been for the past 28 or so years in my head.  For some reason it seems as though I'm tied to the barimetric pressure when it fluctuates because whenever a storm's coming in, my head will REALLY hurt.  My sense of smell is heightened (and I'm already one step away from being a professional perfume mixer/tester due to my ability to identify smells of all kinds), and light of any kind nearly blinds me. Sometimes I see little orbs of diffused light right before my eyes.  Other times I feel woozy and know I need to get somewhere safe and fast. When I feel this coming on, I have to get to my bedroom, pull the blackout drapes, quickly put crisp, clean sheets on the bed that have been washed and dried with no fragrances, turn the thermometer down so it's cold, very, very cold, and sleep.

Time to GET A LIFE

"You know what this means don't you?" asked my friend on the phone after I ran through the litany of things I'd been up to over the past couple of weeks, "you're getting a life!"

For the past 30 years I've defined myself as "Mom".  Oh, I've had great jobs, great experiences, but everything (EVERY waking moment of the day), has revolved around my 4 children.  They are wonderful children who have all grown up to be smart, funny, sweet young adults.  They just really don't have time for me anymore.  They all have their own lives, 2 of them have their own children (who I adore and therefore throw my grandmother hat into the ring), but they're busy.  Places to go, things to do and people to see.  It's time for me to move on.  Get a life.  I guess I will.